What do you do when things just don’t work in your favor? You may have tried something or many things, but for whatever reason failure has plagued you.
It’s ok to fail at something. We all do and have at some point. Everyone is different, and not everything is meant for everyone. However, this doesn’t mean you should necessarily give up. There’s a time to quit and there’s a time to continue pursuing something.
Knowing how to deal with failure is essential to learn from mistakes and keep a hold on your confidence. Failure can crush you if you’re not careful, but remaining strong will benefit you greatly with anything you do in life.
The reasons we experience failure depends on each person’s situation, so there’s no single answer for everyone. Don’t let your mind convince you that failure means your goals are impossible. If you want to be successful in life, you must learn to deal with failure constructively.
Understand First Why You’ve Failed
If you don’t understand why you failed, then it will be difficult for you come back with a winning strategy. Most people fail because they think maybe something wasn’t meant to be or that they are not smart enough to do better, but learning plays a big factor in dealing with defeat constructively.
To give you a better understanding of why you failed, consider these points:
- Is what you failed at significant to you?
- Why do you feel that you failed?
- What should you do to decrease the chance of failure?
- Were you adequately prepared?
When something means something significant to you, there’s less of a chance of failing at something. When something carries less significance, many people think that a minimal effort can still result in success, and that is simply not true.
You have to know you failed and what needs to be done to fix the problem. Poor planning will almost always result in failure at some point.
What Do You Want To Achieve?
Failure is a part of the growing process, so if you are pursuing something then you must understand that you will fail at times without a doubt. It’s a normal part of life, so there’s no reason to let it bother you constantly. You just have to learn to move on.
- Have an idea of where you want to be and go for it while accepting that you will fail along the way.
- Don’t let anyone discourage you as a result of your failures.
- If you don’t try, you won’t succeed.
- Know where you belong and don’t deviate from that.
When we want to achieve something in life, there will be opposition. Don’t let your current circumstances allow you to deviate from the passion that burns within you.
Ignore Unsupportive People
This may seem difficult in many instances, but necessary when your failures are already enough to discourage you. Some people will be negative toward you when you don’t succeed at first, but anyone great has had to walk through adversity.
It doesn’t matter what you’ve failed at. It means nothing compared to what you’re capable of, and as long as you know that, you should block out negative voices.
Sometimes the people closest to you can be the biggest offenders, and although you may not be able to block them out completely, it’s ok to do what’s best for you. Get yourself in a place that is away from anything that stresses you out and causes unnecessary pressure.
People will come and go but you’ll soon realize who you like to be in company with.
Ask For Help
There is nothing wrong with asking for someone else’s help or advice. In fact, it’s totally encouraged. No one person can do everything from their own knowledge or skill set alone. People before us have made mistakes so that we can learn from them. And you’ll feel better and more satisfied when you can share what’s deep inside with someone else. You can also become more motivated to tackle your roadblocks effectively.
If you need some guidance, consider these options:
- Find a mentor.
- Ask advice from someone who is in your desired situation.
- Join a support group that can help.
Find Helpful Resources
We live in a time where everything you need to know can either be found in a book or in the internet. Millions of people share their experiences and advice on online, and it’s a never ending supply of knowledge for anyone.
The most successful people in the world take the time to write books so that we can learn strategies and information that will set us up for less failure and more achievement.
Motivation is a valuable tool, and there are ways to keep yourself motivated through the storms of life.
Life gives us what we need to overcome our perceived limitations, and you’d be smart to take advantage. We definitely have it better than our ancestors in many ways.
Try A Different Way
There is usually more than one way to do something. We tend to stick with one thing, and when that one thing doesn’t work we give up.
The saying “I’ve tried everything” is used too often without justification. It’s ok to admit that you can do better, as nearly anyone could do more than what they’ve been doing. Success in something is based on persistence and belief.
Also, doing the wrong thing or in the wrong way can cause you to fail when what you really need to do is change something up or change your mindset. Failure can result from your perspective, so consider changing it and you may see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Have Reasonable Expectations
You might have ambitious expectations, but when you don’t reach them, the thought of being a failure sets in. We are only capable of doing so much in such a short amount of time.
Use these tips to develop healthy expectations:
- Know what you want, but understand there are steps needed to get there.
- Set short-term goals.
- Decide to be happy no matter what’s happening in the present moment.
- Understand that you may need to improve yourself in some areas to reach your desires.
You can’t skip steps when it comes to accomplishing something. Don’t fail because you thought you could get to the top without starting at the bottom first. Life doesn’t work that way, and you’ll waste time by thinking that you don’t need to start small.
Don’t Ever Call Yourself a Failure
If you tell yourself something long enough, you’ll start to believe it. Nobody is a failure, but there are people who fail to correct their mistakes or understand their purpose in life.
Here are some ways to encourage a more positive atmosphere for yourself.
How to create positivity?
- Try to speak positive words daily.
- Respect yourself by loving yourself.
- Do something you’re good at and feel good doing to maintain your confidence and passion.
It’s no secret that we can create the kind of environment that we desire. You owe it to yourself to be happy and prosperous, and it takes making good choices.
The reason failure may affect someone to the point of giving up is because the mind doesn’t want to experience something that will make it uncomfortable. It’s just a defense mechanism that means nothing regarding your ability to do something.
Create your success and get over your failures by speaking positivity into your life.
The reason why failures may never have an answer may have to do with your lack of passion for something. Failure is not uncommon when effort is at a minimum.
Now you may not be passionate all the time, but to sustain a long lasting change, put forth an honest effort if you’re tired of failed attempts at achieving a desired outcome. Or change your goals to better reflect your true interests and energies.
Too many people become complacent and unsatisfied because they give in to societal definitions of what they should consider important instead of honoring their own.
Respect Your Progress
Being hard on yourself and neglecting the good you’ve done so far is no way to constructively handle your failures.
You don’t want to spin your wheels and give up easily because you focus too much on the negatives of your situation. We all start somewhere, and progress is a good indicator of productivity.
Start by doing a few things daily to keep the positive alive:
- Write your goals in a journal.
- Track your progress.
- Make changes when necessary.
Receiving is a byproduct of respect. If you understand the process, it’s much easier to respect the journey.
By keeping track of your day to day decisions, you can have an easier idea of what to modify for improved productivity.
Don’t Neglect Your Wellbeing
When failure occurs, a natural reaction for many people is to get depressed and stressed out. It’s not worth your health to worry about anything. Of course, if significant enough, there’s always a degree of “what ifs” and “if only’s,” but there needs to be other coping methods to keep things moving in a positive direction instead of spiraling downwards into negativity.
Keep your wellbeing in check:
- Talk about your concerns with someone.
- Have other activities and options in life to direct your attention toward.
- Practice good habits for the mind (Meditation, exercise, etc).
It can be easy to punish yourself when things don’t go as planned. Failing at something is much less important than being in good health.
Your mind is a precious thing and no circumstances should cause you to neglect its vital role in your daily life. That is why meditation and therapy are valuable for maintaining great mental health, stability, and empowerment.
It’s so essential to treat your mind as important to take care of as any other part of your body, but many people tend to neglect it since it’s not physically visible.
Get out there and forget about your failures. Travel somewhere or try something completely new. Many times when people find inspiration, they forget about the past and become motivated for the future.
Here are some tips to find inspiration:
- Listen to a motivating podcast.
- Visit a new place.
- Talk to someone in your situation or who has overcome your situation.
- Try a new hobby or activity.
Inspiration can be the start to something amazing. In fact, nearly all successful people have found inspiration to become great and continue to overcome their perceived limitations. Sometimes we just remain stuck in a rut and this may be an easy fix.
One word a person says can change your whole life as much as picking up a new interest. We all deserve to be inspired by something, and it takes one decision to be open to change.
Surround Yourself with Positive People
Your environment can make all the difference in how you cope with failures. Get around people that will encourage you and not put you down, and you may find your failures to be easier to overcome.
Your mind is already dealing with enough stress, and so the best way to deal with that is to have a positive support system in any form.
Types of support systems include:
- A support group
- A church organization
- Positive friends and family
Negativity is very toxic and, if at all possible, avoid it for your wellbeing. If someone is willing to discourage you, then they don’t deserve your company while you’re dealing with your concerns.
It is acceptable to pick and choose your company, so do it wisely.
Remember that Life Happens in Seasons
Just like there’s an end to a natural season, there comes a time when you’ll prevail over your difficulties. It’s a waste of your valuable time to ponder too much on something that will pass.
The world will give back to you what you give it, and when you overcome your failures, your season will come and better days follow.
The best thing to do is to keep pursuing your desires and have hope and expectations for things to work out for you. Put forth an honest effort, and most times things will eventually fall into place. Timing is something that’s a concern for many, but often something completely out of our control.
Avoid Isolating Yourself
It’s natural to want to be alone when you’re upset and feel hopeless. However, this makes things worse and is never recommended if you want freedom from the negative effects of your situation.
Do things to stay connected:
- Enjoy some time out, even if by yourself.
- Call up someone positive.
- Join a positive group.
- Enjoy activities that allow for self-expression.
Your mental and physical health depend on your ability to keep active and pursue life’s opportunities regardless of your circumstances.
Many people neglect the healing power of exposure (Putting yourself out there), but you’ll never see the world or become inspired by isolating yourself and you’d be missing out on a lot.
So, even if for just an hour a day, leave your place of pain for a place of relief and experiences.
Pick Up and Relocate
Quitting after a few failures is not always a bad thing if you know your location does not support your endeavors.
Don’t consider the thought of relocation as “running from your problems,” because, honestly, the place matters in certain instances.
Different states and cities offer unique opportunities, and a new atmosphere or new potential connections could be your “saving grace.” Maybe you know someone elsewhere that has what you need, whether it is opportunity or inspiration or motivation.
Don’t let a move stress you out, but rather have a plan for the direction you’d like to go and the things you’d like to pursue. Many people do it and find it’s just what they needed to flourish.
Re-evaluate Your Situation
“To be or not to be” … you know sometimes we just have to sit back and think about every aspect of why we are doing something. Could we make better use of our time? It’s likely we could.
Staying somewhere you’re not happy with because it makes you money or there’s a level of comfort in remaining is a bad idea. You may not fail, but if you eventually realize that you’re wasting your time, you soon will.
Everyone’s level of ambition is different. Some people lack it and some people develop it. If you’re the type to desire more, then do yourself a favor and plan to do so.
Get to Know Yourself
There’s nothing wrong with spending time with “YOU.” A lot of times, people are afraid to be in their own company, and as a result, disappointment results from a lack of comfort with yourself.
If you can get to know more about “you,” then when things fail around you, an inner strength is developed. We need to be strong all around if we are to successfully face and overcome our obstacles.
We as a society have made it so normal to think that we need to be popular among other people; however, that is a false belief. There’s nothing wrong with working on yourself, which may require solitude for a bit.
Learn More about Your Surroundings
Unfamiliar territory can sometimes lead to failure if you’re not sure how to effectively navigate it. Although you won’t always have the choice of setting, you have to learn how to do the best with what you have and where you are.
Here are some ways to make the best of your surroundings:
- Know why you’re in a place.
- Do the best you can regardless of what you have.
- Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not where you want to be yet.
- Use resources to have a better idea of where to start and how to continue.
- Ask for help.
Failure doesn’t have to dictate your decision to move forward. If you can learn the basics, you’ll be able to push through anything regardless of how much or little you have to work with.
You have to start with “You” and not get ahead of what you need to first learn and do.
Don’t Let Anything or Anyone Steal Your Joy
You decide on your emotions. No one has the right to steal your joy. You must know how to manage your emotions so that you can be in the right mind to bounce back.
Life requires doing what’s healthy for you, and maintaining a healthy mindset is key to constructively overcoming your failures.
Tips to keep yourself joyful:
- Treat yourself to something you love
- Understand that your failures are not the end of the world and that life has much more to offer.
- Meditate or do some form of mental exercises.
- Remember that other people are in your shoes and you’re not the only one struggling.
- Know that only you can make you happy and nothing else.
Be joyful and know that good things come from being patient and never giving up. Plan for new things in your life, and keep your mind focused on your life’s purpose.
Don’t Give Up
This doesn’t mean that you have to remain pursuing the same thing, but there’s obviously something you want. If failure affects you negatively, then that’s a sign that your desires are significant enough to you to keep going.
How can you be sure to never give up?
- Remind yourself of the feeling you’ll have when you succeed.
- Remember what you’re doing it for.
- Get involved with others who can help push you through.
- Accomplish one thing every day no matter how small it is.
Giving up can never be an option unless you simply lost your passion for something. This happens sometimes, but you’ll know whether it’s a true feeling.
Giving up because something is hard is not a good reason to do so. Don’t abandon your desires because of perceived difficulties that occur along the way.
Be Honest about How Much Control You Have
If you don’t learn how to have control over your situation, then you’ll never move past your failures. It’s absolutely up to you to dictate your future, and a “take charge” mindset is something you need.
Let go of old thought processes and realize a new one might the only way to overcome a difficult situation and start seeing progress.
Your Failures Don’t Need to Hold You Back
As human beings, we tend to let failure discourage us from moving forward. In fact, some people will let failure follow them throughout a lifetime. This results in regret and could very well be the worst feeling to ever experience.
Start by working on yourself and being aware of the whole picture rather than just the current situation.
There are many things you can do to get yourself on track, and it’ll require a combination of these decisions which will make the difference. Use resources around you and never think your situation will just turn itself around with little to no effort on your part.
There are people that will encourage and give us a word of positivity, and this is the beauty of the process of failure. You never have to do it alone, and there’s a positive way to do it that will connect you to the human experience rather than drive you away.
Remember no one and nothing can give you every answer because at the end of the day, the timing and strategy you use is unique to you. We learn by experience, but we can learn faster when also guided by the experience of others.
Make the decision to see your failures as a temporary learning curve while you’re on your way to accomplishing your ultimate goals.