Whether you’ve been married one week, one year, or ten years, all marriages have their ups and downs, their good times and bad. But gradually you notice your marriage deteriorating day by day. The little things your spouse does that you used to think were cute now annoy you to the point of screaming and wanting out.
At least you’re noticing the problems. In some marriages, problems fester and grow like a cancer without noticing. When they’re finally realized and admitted, it’s too late and not even open heart surgery will help.
So, how do you heal a broken heart? Do you talk to your spouse, your friends, or do you seek the help of a professional? How do you know if you need marriage counseling? It may be difficult for you to share your innermost feelings with a stranger. Surely, no one can feel or understand what you’re feeling.
Professional marriage counselors have heard it all and are trained to listen, understand, and suggest treatment to mend that broken heart that was once filled with love. If you’re experiencing hopelessness and helplessness and you feel there is no way to continue in your marriage, a counselor may be the answer.
If you’re still reluctant to seek professional help, you need to create a climate of self-understanding within yourself. Be certain in your own mind and heart that the fear and problems you feel are real and not just a point in your life where you’re experiencing complicated change.
Search your heart for the answer to this question: Have you considered divorce? If the answer is yes, then you may need more help than you’re able to give yourself. But don’t stop there. There are other questions to consider regarding your marriage situation.
Do you trust your partner? Could there be another person involved? If this is the case, then counseling can certainly help. Adulterous marriages can leave the other feeling unwanted and unworthy of continuing the marriage. Counselors can sort through this problem and even help you forgive the wrong done to you.
Do you criticize each other at home and in public? This can be a struggle for control caused by a lack of self-esteem. You want to show others you’re good enough for your spouse because he or she is imperfect.
Other questions to be considered can be about sharing responsibilities with household chores and children. Is money a problem? If you feel that whatever you earn is yours and not ours, then that could lead to a misunderstanding about the future of your marriage and whether or not you view it as a long-term relationship.
There are many other questions to be asked and answered before you make a decision to seek counseling. Ask these questions with your partner, and if problems cannot be resolved then it may be time to see a counselor. Before a marriage ends, both should open their hearts and minds and ask for help.